My little girl. Who would have known a year ago we would have such a healthy, busy, happy, hungry little girl. And look at her, in her birthday suit! Sorry I know its a ton of pictures but its amazing to watch her grow! She is amazing. She had her developmental assessment today and guess what? She is a totally normal 1 year old! No deficit, no "based on gestational age". She is constantly amazing us and cracking us up and wowing us with her little personality.
I was ready through my journaling from her month in the NICU so I thought I would close wth some of my thoughts/feelings on the events of the day.
"Shawn went to the ultrasound with me and by this time many friends and family had gathered to support us. We were laughing and having a good time a the ultrasound, able to see the baby and watch it move around was really comforting. We asked the tech how large the baby was, it looked good to us. she said, “around 2 and 1/2 pounds”. shock. The baby should have been at least four pounds. How could this have happened? At this point we knew the baby was coming and I quickly realized I couldn’t fatten it up in the next hour. So the calming peace that had been with me most the day came again. It was out of my control. I could either freak out of accept what was going to happen. My nurse came to pick me up from ultrasound already knowing the test results. As she pushed me she discussed the most likely outcome. The baby was too small. It would almost definitely need assistance breathing and maybe even more support. We might hear a cry and we might not.
Tamara pushed me into a room full of family and friends. You could see on their faces they knew. This was not going to be easy but it was already happening, and it felt like it was going very fast. The shaking from the shots had stopped and I was very tired. We were all waiting for a girl down the hall to deliver so the dr could be ready for me. I rested my head in my hands in the wheelchair as I waited. I was exhausted. They helped me to bed and I tried to be awake and positive. Shawn put on his surgical scrubs and they came to pick me up. Around my bed in a circle everyone stood and said a prayer. For me, for Shawn for our baby for our family, for health, for peace."