Wednesday, April 30, 2008

To take away

A note about my cry baby post. As most of you know I am not the cry baby type so it was a little unusual for me. I guess I just wanted to give you guys a little view into my daily life so that you could get a glimpse of the challenges I face and why I might make certain decisions and that I don't want any of you to take them personally. I guess what I want everyone to take away from it is that I am trying to gain some confidence as Emolyn’s mom. So, the decisions that I make for us, based on information from doctors, nurses, friends, and my mom feelings, are what is right for Emolyn and I. Because I am her mom and thats what I want to do for us. I think this is the only time in your life that that is ok to say without being offensive. Thank you everyone for your love and support.

Look at me, I rolled over!

Last night/early this morning I laid Emolyn down on her back as I was getting her bottle ready and when I turned around, she was on her tummy! What a big girl! She can roll over! So it looks like so far she is doing great on her developmental track!
Here is a picture of her meeting her cousin Benjamin for the first time! I promise she was happy most of the time and seemed to calm down when he made "meow-ing" kitty sounds to her.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Happiness is green plastic

Emolyn's room, a work in progress

Well since it has been requested here are some photos of Emolyn's room, so far. See the room is not to my liking yet, who knows if it will ever be. But it is improving and I will share with you what has been done and what I would still like to accomplish.
View from the door. Our comfy wing backed chair, we feed her here in the middle of the night and then we fall asleep with her in our arms in this chair. Although last night she slept 6 hours! So our middle of the night feedings are becoming less and less.
This is the cool changing table Linda brought over yesterday. She found it at a thrift store I think a long time ago and has been using it as storage. She sanded it down and painted it for us and it looks awesome in her room! Now I want to get some matching baskets so it looks nicer storing her blankets and burp rags and bath stuff.
The awesome crib you see is a beautiful solid family heirloom almost! It was my aunt and uncles and my nephews and niece used it and now its our turn! My uncle took it completely apart and sanded it all down and refinished it so its like new for Emolyn. He did have to sand out the teeth marks from my nephew Benjamin, he was a biter. Notice no mattress, yeah thats on the list of things to get.
Emolyn has had brief moments in the swing and I think she likes it but she is still too little. And there are all her books, she loves to read!
Our fun curtains that match her bedding are hung after Randy came to instal the curtain rod and this cool antique dresser is from our friend Meredith who lived with us for like a month and left it for us as a gift (actually I think she didn't have room for it and I really liked it so now its mine!). That long hanging thing is a little holder I made for plastic grocery bags. I keep the bags in their and put dirty diapers in the bags so I can take them right out. Its working well for us. Also on the dresser is the cutest gift from the shower, a diaper tower. And Emolyn's hand and foot prints from the hospital, her night nurse Allison made this scrap page for us, it was so sweet!
I won't let you look in Emolyn's closet because it is a disaster. But here is her pack-n-play and her bulletin board, mostly she doesn't have anything of her own up yet but some great pictures of her family!
Oh here is a peak into Emolyn's clothing. This is here 0-3 months clothes drawer. People have been very generous.

Monday, April 28, 2008


So it is officially hot out, gone are the 4 days I could keep my front door open because the weather was nice. I think the high was 96 today. I have been fighting starting the AC (I don't know why) but since tomorrow is supposed to be 98 I will be firing up the bad boy! Since it is so hot Emolyn has taken to not wearing clothes. She likes to be swaddled but gets too hot so she has to be naked to be swaddled. She seems to really like being naked which is unfortunate since she has a lot of new clothes. I wish I had a lot of new clothes :( But her clothes don't fit me so I am going to have to wait until after summer for our shopping spree! Here are some cute pics of my little gils chillin' with her daddy tonight!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Littler should be easier...

Right? Less baby should mean less work? Only while I do think I have a pretty easy going baby there are several "special needs" she has. I hesitate in calling her "special needs" or "different" because she doesn't have a handicap, except she is small. I feel like people think she is some freak show "Hey look the tiniest baby in the world"! Its hard to hear people say "She is so tiny" before they say "She is so cute". Duh she is tiny, I know, I see her 24/7. (I can see my lack of frequent human contact is making me a little hostile.)
Back to the subject, Emolyn's "special needs". You know when a baby cries you want to jiggle it or rock it, you can't do that with her. Her central nervous system did not yet fully develop inside so its developing now. So she is extra sensitive to ALL movement, sound, light, etc. So when she cries because her tummy hurts all you an do it hold her close until she has a big fart and feels better, sometimes thats like 20 minutes of your baby screaming in your face and you know there is nothing you can do. If you move her too much she feels anxious and has that startle reflex all the time! We have to feed her on her side so she will eat more. She is getting worse and worse at breast-feeding every time I try because she has no levels of hunger, there is not hungry and starving. She doesn't want to waste her time breast feeding she just wants the bottle. So, alas, I feed her and pump so each eating takes twice as long as it would if I could just breast feed. And I have to supplement her milk with formula so she gets more calories so I couldn't breast feed all the time even if I wanted to. Less than 10% of her clothes fit which requires more laundry, she has a tiny little butt so the diaper has nothing to hold onto so her poo leaks out. If she is too stimulated she won't wake up to eat so I have to wake her up, and if she doesn't eat enough she won't gain weight and I will look like a horrible mom. And I can't do any normal mom things and I can't show off my baby because if she gets around any germs she has no stamina in her little body to fight off infection. So a cold would land her in the hospital. And typically babies with respiratory problems as infants will develop a susceptibility to respiratory problems later in life such as asthma or chronic bronchitis. So I have to protect her so much now to prevent life long problems. So please don't be sad about not seeing her or holding her because she will be around for a long time. This time is just so important for us to protect her. So here is a time line. Maybe to go out of the house and accept visitors in late June or July. Not to church before August. So there you go. The limitations of my house arrest.
I guess thats enough of whoa is me for today. Someone told me recently I was grieving the loss of my plan. My plan for a natural delivery on or near my due date to a healthy 7.6 lb baby who I could take home right away and bring to church and start my life as a mom doing normal mom stuff. But instead I got a beautiful healthy tiny little girl when I wasn't really expecting it. And I spent a month watching her be poked and prodded while others took care of her and I had to leave her everyday. I never thought of it that way. Grieving. But it makes sense. And now I have accepted my new reality and I gingerly carry around my fragile baby and listen to her scream in my ear and examine all her boogers for signs of infection and give her gross multivitamin drops that stain her clothes. My new reality is different but I get to spend it with Emolyn, who I think might have smiled on purpose yesterday while under a "kiss attack"! So now for what you all want. New pics:

Walking around town with her daisy dukes on!
Sleeping on Dad
Sleeping in her pack-n-play. It only lasted an hour but she did it, we are advancing past only being able to sleep in the bouncy seat!
I almost forgot! Can you tell she has grown? She is 5 lbs 4 oz!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Emolyns "little" friend

Emolyn is bound to be friends with Delaney Arden Wilson because she has such a great mom! Delaney was born just 1 week after Emolyn on leap day! And even though Delaney lives in Illinois I know when she comes to visit they will have such fun! But one thing they won't be able to do is share clothes. Let me just show you Emolyn and Delaney, both in their Boppy pillows.

But what matters is what's on the inside. And Delaney's insides are sweet and gentle just like her momma. While Emolyn's insides are feisty and do not like to be told what to do, hence the lack of desire to pose for this picture.
But look at those blue eyes! Kelsie took Emolyns birth announcement pictures tonite, she was cooperative part of the time. We didn't get any sleeping pictures since someone didn't want to fall asleep. The girl sleeps like 18 hours a day and couldn't seem to close her eyes the whole time Kelsie was here. She was up for over 3 hours straight. Crazy girl. But it means she should sleep well tonight.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Showered with Love... and presents

Holy cow! We had an awesome time yesterday at Emolyn's baby shower! We had a ton of people there who came to love Shawn and I and see pictures of my beautiful little girl. Emolyn is not big and strong enough to be out yet so Shawn made a slide show of pictures from her first 2 months of life. He had about 700 pictures to search through so needless to say even with only the best it was like 9 minutes long! 
We got to tell the story about Emolyns birthday and how crazy it was. And  a generous friend asked how everyone could support and protect us as we start our family with this fragile little girl. We have so many awesome people around us. We are blessed to have a community of cheerleaders, faithful prayers, cooks, and tender souls who want to care for us. I really feel like Shawn and I have finally emerged from being Beckie's daughter and Randy and Linda's son to "Shawn and Nicole" and of course now Emolyn. We have our own identity and it includes our parents but is not defined by our association. I felt like people were there for us and truly care about our new little family. 
Of course the grandmas did do everything for the party from so cute decorations to delicious food and adorable cupcakes. And we had a raffle! A friend at work told me about having a diaper and wipe raffle at our baby shower. Along with  gift people bring diapers or wipes (or both) and enter a drawing for a gift. My mom made a "Dinner and a movie in or out" basket with movie tickets free popcorn and Harkins cup with Oreganos gift card for out and pizza hut gift card, soda candy and blockbuster gift card for in! Of course Andy Allen won the drawing because he wins every drawing we have!*

*Andy won the drawing at our wedding almost 4 years ago to sign the marriage license.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Fatty Fatty 2x4

Yes Emolyn got weighed today and she is a hoping 4 lbs 14 oz! In the 8 weeks since she was bon she has doubled her weight and grown 2 1/2 inches! I wanted to give you some comparison photos so you can see the change.

I know you can't see her whole body in todays pic but look how much just her face has changed! Oh and with the expansion of her head circumference Emolyn has learned to read. Here she is reading Pat the Bunny.
Shawn comes home tomorrow!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wide Awake

Emolyn had a mini photo shoot this morning on her Boppy pillow. Look at those blue eyes! AT first she was unsure...
Then she pretended to be shy...
Then she smelled her diaper.
She is so expressive its very fun to watch her. I need to get some shots of right when she is waking up and stretching, she makes my favorite face. So just a glimpse into the life of Emolyn. Doctors appointment in the AM to get weighed and 2 month old shots! Can you believe it 2 months old. Then Shawn comes home on Friday. We have a busy weekend so just a warning. I might miss a blog or 2.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Thanks Jessica!

Emolyn was dreaming about her daddy today and waving in her sleep. 

She sleeps in this awesome vibrating bouncy seat that  Linda found new at a yard sale for like $5! Emolyn is VERY lucky to have so many loving people around her who want to shower her with gifts. Speaking of shower and gifts who is excited about saturday!

Tonight is our last night with Jessica as our special sleepover buddy. Jessica has been so awesome while Shawn has been gone. She mops my floor while I feed Emolyn and stays up until 4 AM to feed her. What an amazing friend. We have gotten to spend so much time together this last week it has just reminded me what a beautiful, intelligent, funny, caring and easy to get along with woman she is. Jessica- Thank you so much for protecting me during this time with Shawn away. Thank you for the love and advice and support. I could not have been sane this week without you. Thanks for loving me and my baby. Sorry you fell in love with her too! Now you will want to babysit all the time! I know you will be amazing Aunt for the special little girl soon!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Eating vs Sleeping

Usually emolyn prefers sleeping to eating but sometimes she tries to do both at the same time. She goes from totally asleep to screaming awake that she is starving. No joke, in like 15 seconds she figures out she is hungry. Sometimes we have to wake her up to feed her because she is so small she can not wait more than 4 hours between meals. I am a little paranoid at night so I set an alarm even though she has NEVER slept through a feeding at night.
She fell asleep eating tonight.
And continued to sleep through the burping process.
But we did capture a great sleeping smile! Look at that dimple! She has a matching one on the other side. I bet she is dreaming about seeing her Daddy friday night!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Emolyn's Photo Shoot

Amy Schubert (of Teegan Photography) took some awesome pictures of Emolyn yesterday. Check out her website and blog.

And here is a picture of my crazy kitchen, I didn't realize it looked this bad. I guess its a look.

Lets compare

So people are having trouble understanding Emolyns size, because its hard to picture what 4 lbs 7 oz looks like. So I thought I would get some photos to help you compare her to everyday items.
Here she is on a paper plate

Here she is with a CD

Is she small or does Shawn have a big head, you decide

We all know Shawn has big feet, I call them boats

If you want us to ship her to you let me know, she fits in a manilla envelope.

I thought this might be fun! We are trying to fill our time with distractions until Shawn gets home. Any ideas?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Faces of Emolyn

The little girl was very awake yesterday and I got some great pictures to capture some of her many facial expressions. She is very animated and when she is stretching I get some of the best ones.

Also I got a first... First fat roll! Its not really even a roll so much as a crease but I knew her daddy would be proud. And her weight is up to 4 lbs 7 oz!
See it there by her knee! I found it!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Generous Creativity

Emolyn has been given a few very special gifts. Beautiful handmade things for her to snuggle up with. This first is an adorable blanket matches her polka dot bedding and has a very soft backing and a satin trim. It was made by Lynette Childers along with matching burp cloths and two phenomenal dresses (they had to be hand stitched because they are so small). The red dress was her Good Friday and go home from the hospital dress and the white eyelet dress was her Easter dress! It was so fun to have something so special and unique, even though it was hard to celebrate her first Easter in the hospital.

This beautiful creation was made by our cousin Myra. It has the softest duckie fabric (picked out by her husband Evan) and the backing is a soft ribbed white. Click on the image to see the dainty embroidered butterflies and Emolyn's initials! The trim sticking is flowers all the way around! There are also matching burp cloths!
I stole a kiss from Emolyn today! It was from her daddy over the phone! I will not include my attempt to "kiss" Maurice per Shawns request. (Kiss not given and thus picture not included due to Maurice's serious need of a bath, he is gross)
Emolyn and I slept through the new episode of The Office, we missed the whole thing! Jessica was nice enough to photograph us, but not nice enough to wake me up so I could see the show!
We miss Shawn pretty bad. This being apart thing is a lot harder with a baby. It is sure harder than I thought. I am trying to distract myself with home projects but I am thinking about it more and more. We are half way done though, and my genius will be home!