My secret addiction

Emolyn is getting so strong! This is some of her Tummy Time.

My friend Jeannette loaned me The Gilmore Girls series and I am not through the first season and I have some issues but i cant stop watching. Like that the daughter is a horrible actress and all the dialogue sounds so written. No one makes that many pop culture references in 40 minutes. And in pretty much every episode somehow has to tell the mom how "hot" she is. But like a bloody mangled reck, i cant turn away.

Some other embarrassing shows i enjoy: Americas next top model, gladiators, biggest loser, ER, Martha, and merv griffins crosswords.

Just a note

I love Green Bags. They totally I work. I got some from my grandma. I hate throwing produce away but between the 2 of us (Emolyn refuses to eat her fruits and veggies) we can't finish stuff in time.

Full Weekend

Where to begin.

Well I made a delicious dinner with some of the zucchini (chicken parm) which shawn really liked. Nora came over friday and we made orange ginger carrot cake cupcakes and frosting from scratch (Made from my Americas Test Kitchen cook book). i wish i had taken pictures because if you think baking is messy try baking with a 6 year old and a crying baby. Then saturday was spent on Emolyns first road trip to Flagstaff (northern AZ) for our  friend Caleb and Kalis wedding where she was paraded around like a show dog and loved it. I guess "You are so pretty" never gets old to her. I should have taken pictures there too because it was so beautiful and I looked really cute! Then I had my first day back to work on Sunday. I will be working 6 shifts a month in the resource pool at Banner Thunderbird Medical center where I have worked for 5 years. I will be working as a nurse where ever they need me in the hospital. I will still be doing some wound care and working back in the ICU most likely. I did miss Emolyn but I knew she was having fun with her dad as described here in his blog. Unfortunately he blogged before he called me at work "where is the stuff you put on Emolyns clothes when she gets poop on them? Because this is serious! There is poop on my jeans!" Ahh, this is why I don't where my favorite pair of jeans while watching Emolyn. I guess he had to look good in case anyone stopped by. Oh and I almost forgot. We went to the doctor for Emolyn friday and she is 7 pounds 7 ounces. What a chub! He said she loooked grer and gave us the ok for our trip to Mexico in a week! Emolyn is very excited. I bought her some all natural everything free sunscreen at Sprouts to protect her sensitive skin! Since I was gone all day yesterday Emolyn wont let me put her down today. She has fallen asleep in my arms 5 times so far and wakes up the second I lay her down. so since i have typed this all with one hand I think i am done. but i wont stay away so long next time!

Clarification

Thank you all for your heart felt words and concern. I must admit however that these feelings of anxiety do not seem to come from any sense of inadequacy but instead because I am having some issues with someone close to me. Thats all I can share at this time however, some things were said that were very hurtful and I am trying to recover from them. I fell like I am pretty confident in my abilities as a mom (so far!) but it seems like other people don't agree with the mom decisions I am making. But hopefully these things will get worked out soon. No need for medication at this time. Not that I don't believe in it, just that my issues have an obvious cause, and its not ppd.

Emolyn has a Dr appointment tomorrow so I will keep you up to date on her latest weight. And I go back to work on Sunday. My first day back! I am excited and a little nervous all in one. Luckily they are giving me a little time for re-orientation as it were. I will be working in several different areas of the hospital which will be fun. Never a dull moment! 

My mom is out of town and one of the duties in watching her house and cat was to go in her new garden and pick the zucchini because she thought they would be ripe. She said pick them when they are 6-8 inches long. Well Shawn went over the first couple times and I forgot to tell him about the zucchini. So Emolyn and I stopped by yesterday to find this. It doesn't get more organic than these. This is a regular size kitchen towel. Wow. I also got some fresh basil and chilies!

blah- emotional vomit

I feel pretty anxious right now. I feel like everything I do is being watched and has repercussions. I feel super defensive. And I don't quite know how to fix it. I think its because I am scared. I hate this feeling. Trying to let Emolyn bring the smile back to my face and turn this frown upside down. But how does life just go on? Do other people just get over things? Like "poof" nothing ever happened? I guess I need to get better at that and spend less time sulking over things that have been done. I can't change the past. I guess thats a hard life lesson that I seem to have to keep learning. Speaking of, my dad called me on mothers day. Left a message. I haven't called him back. Don't know what to say. I think I am wise enough though to not call him when I am emotional. 

So I am seeing now how blogging can be like a journal/diary and not just a "look at pictures of my baby" site. But now do I post an emotionally vulnerable blog? I am a little embarrassed. Should I include a picture of Emolyn so everyone is left with warm fuzzys even if I am not? Well, its up to you I guess.

Isn't this cool?

I got his from my grandma last week. She has two and she asked if I wanted one. Duh! They are awesome. So, as I am unable, as it seems, to decorate my home with non-functional items I will have to find a use for this gem. However I am slowly learning that decoration is a function. Now where to put it! Oh she also had these awesome old mason jars with glass lids! Offered them to me but alas I have no place for them. So I need to make a space. But I put them up above her kitchen cabinets (In pairs of 3, I should have gotten a picture) for her and she liked the way I set them up so much I think she might keep them! Boo.

News flash: Remember the Snapple bottle? Well Shawn keeps all his bottles and cans on a shelf above the computer. He came home the other day and one of his soda cans had started leaking (why he kept cans with soda in them I do not know). 

Well it leaked all over his desk and on the computer! Shawn had to take it apart and clean it all. Yuck! But for the most part everything survived. Maybe this will encourage him to keep his desk neater, but I doubt it. I try and let the office be "his space" and not nag him about it being so messy. Here is the soda culprit. They sold several items from The Simpsons at 7-11 right before the movie came out so Shawn had to get some Buzz Cola! He is a sucker for anything "limited Edition". An advertisers dream. I think he should have the job Tom Hanks did in Big. Only not for toys but just regular things. Like "If you saw this in the store would you buy it?". He would be great at that. I think thats why he designs things so well. He knows what people like to see. 

Catch up pics

Sorry for the absence of posts. I have been a little down lately. Im sure it will pass. In the mean time Emolyn and I have been taking adventures outside the house. Check out Grammies blog for some pictures from our trip to great grandma Emolyn's house. We travel just for short periods of time but it has been very exciting, and exhausting. Here are a few pics from the last few days. Oh by the way, Emolyn has become Italian! 

A spicy meata ball!