Right? Less baby should mean less work? Only while I do think I have a pretty easy going baby there are several "special needs" she has. I hesitate in calling her "special needs" or "different" because she doesn't have a handicap, except she is small. I feel like people think she is some freak show "Hey look the tiniest baby in the world"! Its hard to hear people say "She is so tiny" before they say "She is so cute". Duh she is tiny, I know, I see her 24/7. (I can see my lack of frequent human contact is making me a little hostile.)
Back to the subject, Emolyn's "special needs". You know when a baby cries you want to jiggle it or rock it, you can't do that with her. Her central nervous system did not yet fully develop inside so its developing now. So she is extra sensitive to ALL movement, sound, light, etc. So when she cries because her tummy hurts all you an do it hold her close until she has a big fart and feels better, sometimes thats like 20 minutes of your baby screaming in your face and you know there is nothing you can do. If you move her too much she feels anxious and has that startle reflex all the time! We have to feed her on her side so she will eat more. She is getting worse and worse at breast-feeding every time I try because she has no levels of hunger, there is not hungry and starving. She doesn't want to waste her time breast feeding she just wants the bottle. So, alas, I feed her and pump so each eating takes twice as long as it would if I could just breast feed. And I have to supplement her milk with formula so she gets more calories so I couldn't breast feed all the time even if I wanted to. Less than 10% of her clothes fit which requires more laundry, she has a tiny little butt so the diaper has nothing to hold onto so her poo leaks out. If she is too stimulated she won't wake up to eat so I have to wake her up, and if she doesn't eat enough she won't gain weight and I will look like a horrible mom. And I can't do any normal mom things and I can't show off my baby because if she gets around any germs she has no stamina in her little body to fight off infection. So a cold would land her in the hospital. And typically babies with respiratory problems as infants will develop a susceptibility to respiratory problems later in life such as asthma or chronic bronchitis. So I have to protect her so much now to prevent life long problems. So please don't be sad about not seeing her or holding her because she will be around for a long time. This time is just so important for us to protect her. So here is a time line. Maybe to go out of the house and accept visitors in late June or July. Not to church before August. So there you go. The limitations of my house arrest.
I guess thats enough of whoa is me for today. Someone told me recently I was grieving the loss of my plan. My plan for a natural delivery on or near my due date to a healthy 7.6 lb baby who I could take home right away and bring to church and start my life as a mom doing normal mom stuff. But instead I got a beautiful healthy tiny little girl when I wasn't really expecting it. And I spent a month watching her be poked and prodded while others took care of her and I had to leave her everyday. I never thought of it that way. Grieving. But it makes sense. And now I have accepted my new reality and I gingerly carry around my fragile baby and listen to her scream in my ear and examine all her boogers for signs of infection and give her gross multivitamin drops that stain her clothes. My new reality is different but I get to spend it with Emolyn, who I think might have smiled on purpose yesterday while under a "kiss attack"! So now for what you all want. New pics:
Walking around town with her daisy dukes on!Sleeping on Dad
Sleeping in her pack-n-play. It only lasted an hour but she did it, we are advancing past only being able to sleep in the bouncy seat!
I almost forgot! Can you tell she has grown? She is 5 lbs 4 oz!